Thursday, October 3, 2013

A New Leaf

   10/3-13
   So, life has been around the sun and back and back around again since I have last posted anything.  I know this may not be read for awhile.  But I will write none-the-less.  I may post images of work done, or simple ruminations, to deep thoughts of the fundamental nature of the heavens and not simply the perceived ones either.
   Today I am writing about inspiration.  I have a very special person in my life.  She has inspired to me to reach far higher than I ever would have dared to reach before.  I thought I was aiming for the stars before, but in talking with her and listening to her dreams and goals I realized that my simple dreams while dreams they still were, were not half as grandiose I had thought them out to be.  I was a mere commoner.  Against her I was nothing, I am nothing.  She is so much smarter and driven than I am.  She is not defeated by life as I am.  She is so much more spontaneous, so much more insightful, detail grasping, and far sighted than I am.  And I used to think myself fairly spontaneous and insightful.  I thought that I was seeing farther than others because of the details that I was seeing and the connections I was making that I was not hearing anyone else make.  Yet despite all that, by her side I am nothing special.
   Yet by her side she has made me so much more.  She has inspired me to reach higher.  I always knew at the bottom of my soul that I had the ability and the power to take the world on and change it, single-handedly if need be.  I was in a rut of to much construction and not enough intellectual banter.  Sure I was thinking to myself and going over things and talking ideas over.  But I never had the exchange with another person.  And that feedback from another, that external view point or critique is invaluable. They logic check your thoughts.  They refine them.  They even add to them.  I now realize that though I was thinking a lot I was slowing down and not thinking as broad anymore.  My social skills had deteriorated detrimentally and I am now paying the price of that.  That is what she has shown me.  I know that I can do and be better.  I know others are better than me.  But I was always alone.  No one ever believed in me and thus inspired me to reach for that almighty goal that was to be mine.  I was the lone driving force and inspiration in my life.
   Thus I say this.  We can all use not just a role model in our lives, those come a dime for a dozen.  But rather we need that inspiration in our lives.  That force that is working beside us and pushing us forward.  Whispering in our ears to try a little longer before we give up.  That force that raises our view a little higher and for once we see the distant horizon in all its grandeur and beauty in place of the dreary steps just before our feet.  That is the inspiration she has been to me.  I have no idea how long she will be a part of my life.  People come and go in life, that is part of what life is.  Some of them touch us to lightly that when the experience is passed we hardly knew that they even touched us.  Yet others touch us so deeply that a scar is etched across our soul.  One that will never be filled till they are back in our lives even if it is on the far side of the veil.  They can be friends, co-workers, lovers, and siblings.  Just open your hearts to the inspiration that others may give you and please try to inspire others for all you are worth.  We are all in this life together and though we may all live it differently and have varying ideals we can all support each other.

--Jeff

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